What is the key component to good anal sex? Relaxation. Really the stumbling block is a mental one with a relaxed attitude budding from an alleviation of concerns that stem from taboos, myths and old wives tales. Anal stimulation feels good full stop and avoiding this area due to a few strange ideas we harbour is a shame. Here’s our guide to good anal play whether straight or gay.

Ever heard of analingus? Its cunninlingus at the rear entrance. Lets call it oral rosebud stimulation if that sounds more palatable. Rimming (another term in the glossary) may not sound very sexy on the surface but in fact kissing and licking this delicate area can be a highly erotic and intimate act. Obviously in the interests of hygiene your lover needs to wash the anal area before delving in but you can also buy latex barriers or use cling film to stretch over, as it won’t affect the enjoyment level for your partner.

Fingers make for brilliant anal sex toys and all you need is a little sex lube and a gentle approach. It’s a good idea to begin a little anal fingering during oral sex for added stimulation and a distraction from the bum play for the novice. You will soon find that you are relaxed and enjoying every moment! Try and find the prostate for fabulous manipulation of the male g spot. Simply insert your finger and make a beckoning motion so that your finger massages the rectal wall. If you do this whilst giving a blow job your man will be shot to heaven.

If you have decided to go for the full anal penetration then warm things up with a finger and lube or small sex toy designed for anal pleasure. Butt Plugs are brilliant for getting the party started and relax the sphincter muscles in preparation for penetration. Whether you are using a dildo, butt plug or penis take things very slowly. Insert a little way and wait for the muscle to relax around the member. Let your partner decide how deep the toy or cock should go and don’t push it as the sex will only feel uncomfortable and suddenly comes to an end. Before you begin thrusting with your partner they may need to just get used to having something inside their anal passage. Once full motion sex is underway you will find that anal penetration contributes to orgasm and heightens genital sensitivity.