If your man does not stop moaning on about his lack of blowjobs cut out the voucher below and give it to him pronto with an emphasis on the small print.

 This voucher gives the bearer the right to exchange for a damn good blowjob at any given moment subject to the terms and conditions as below.

 You will not be able to endorse the voucher up to 24 hours after consuming the following: Spicy food, cigarettes and alcohol whereas the feasting on strawberries, fresh vegetables, kiwi’s and melons will make for a longer and more enjoyable session of fellatio

Smegma and stale wee wee will be removed before the said oral act has begun and although an all round clean cock is required it should still have a scent of man and not brut about it.

 Trim your bush before redeeming voucher to a neat and manageable patch and tug at any hairs to ensure they stay in place and do not end up in partner’s teeth before the job is done – Thank you!